That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.